Yamato sensei? SCARY!
by Temari 88
Summary: One question: what if Yamato had been Team 7's jounin instructor instead of Kakashi? *now multi-chaptered!*
1. Choosing the Sensei

_Hello everyone! :D_

_This month the comm at LJ has started the 'Fill-A-Thon' meme and I found this one that seemed interesting, so here I am!  
The request went: "What if Yamato had been Team 7's sensei?"_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but what I wrote._

_Enjoy!_

_Ja ne,  
Temari 88 :) _

* * *

**Yamato-sensei...? SCARY!**

The Sandaime sat quietly in his office, waiting patiently for the arrival of his guest so that he could deliver the news (inside, Sarutobi was positively giggling at the prospect of seeing the reaction of said guest). In front of his on the desk were the papers with the Team arrangements for the newly graduated academy students/wannabe-genin, some of the groups had the potential of becoming great resources for the village in future - teams such as the new generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho formation or the one made of Hyuuga, Inuzuka and Aburame.

The one catching Sarutobi's attention, though, was the future Team 7: Haruno Sakura (a brilliant although fairly weak civilian girl), Uchiha Sasuke (supposed genius and last Uchiha left in the village) and last but not least Uzumaki Naruto (renowned prankster and the Hokage's favorite loudmouth - but don't tell others that)... it was a cell that could cause a huge amount of problems, possibly destruction, yet had a lot of potential as well. Deciding on a good instructor for those three had been something the Sandaime had pondered at length.

At first, he had thought of Kakashi... young Sasuke would certainly need someone helping him to work and develop his Sharingan, once it was activated, and what a better choice than the son on the White Fang? Also, it seemed just about right that the Hatake of all people should train Naruto... it was a neat way to pass down valuable knowledge from sensei to student, it seemed a way to somehow make up to Minato the fact that he couldn't train his own son—it would be retribution of sort.

Yet, the Hokage had later come to the conclusion that probably Kakashi wasn't the right choice. Team 7, more than the other teams, needed a jounin sensei who won't show favoritism, of any kind or in whatever situation—the very composition of the cell required it because the three children were completely different, not only in matters of character (because they weren't the only ones) but mostly due to their very own social extraction. In addition, Kakashi with his lazy attitude was likely to let a lot of things to solve themselves or not keep a close enough eye on the boys - especially - letting their rivalry reach dangerous ground. That team was in dire need of someone _strict_.

With this reasons in mind, Sarutobi had decided to call off Tenzo from ANBU and name him Team 7's jounin sensei.

-x-

Inside the classroom number 15, inside which the graduates divided into cells were waiting for their sensei, most of the kids were gossiping excitedly.

Suddenly the door slid open noiselessly to reveal a brown-haired shinobi wearing the typical jounin attire of black long sleeved shirt and green vest, the itai-ate the man was wearing was quite unique in its form - the metal covered not only his forehead but also the sides of his face and a skin-tight mask covered the man's neck, up to his chin. The shinobi swept the class with a bored expression, inwardly sighing, before speaking.

"Team 7, come with me."

Naruto and Sakura glanced briefly at each other, not quite knowing what to make of the adult, then the two shrugged and hastily got up from their seats to run after what appeared to be their teacher while Sasuke, already at the threshold, shot a mild glare at his team-mates, mumbling darkly something that sounded like 'slowpokes'. The three genin caught up with Tenzo by the Academy gates and then proceeded to keep up with the brisk pace at which the man was walking... headed towards the training grounds, as they soon discovered.

Tenzo stopped without warning and Naruto and Sakura skidded to a halt just in time to avoid walking into the jounin. Said man turned around to stare at them, his expression now fairly grim as he took in his student's appearance._ "Why, oh why... Sandaime-sama you really hate me, don't you..."_ he thought sighing inwardly again.

"... Names." he ordered without preamble, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

The three kids - or maybe it's better to say two, since the Uchiha was as expressive as a stone wall - blinked confused and a tad afraid of the glare directed their way.

"... Ha-Haruno S-Sakura..."

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"UZUMAKI NARUTO, DATTEBAYO!"

"You can call me Yamato." a long silence followed then, Tenzo once again was weighting them down and this time even the stoic Uchiha could feel his neck prickle in slight discomfort. "First thing, if I'm going to be your jounin sensei, I need to see what you're capable of..." a short pause during which Naruto and Sakura swallowed nervously "so you will spar with each other. Come on!"

-x-

Tenzo felt his eye twitch as, for the tenth time in a row, what was supposed to be a sparring between Naruto and Sasuke quickly turned into a shouting match with some nasty curses thrown in courtesy of the blond-haired child - the two were polar opposites, that much was crystal clear, but apparently their dislike for each other went deeper than a simple children's rivalry... they couldn't talk, or spar or whatever, without a fight starting and escalating from verbal abuse to throwing of punches and kicks. And everything got worse when Sakura joined the fray to 'defend her Sasuke-kun'...

"—Worthless idiot!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY-TTEBAYO? GET THAT STICK OUT FROM UP YOUR ASS, TEME!"

"Naruto-BAKA!"

"But Sakura-chan! It's true-ttebayo...! He's got that pole so far up there he'll _choke _on it, one of these days!"

"I'm going to KILL YOU, _dobe_!"

"I'd like to see you try, _bastard_! You can't beat me, I'm gonna become Hokage!"

"Shut up Naruto-baka! You're good for nothing, you'd never get even _close _to being Hokage!"

Tenzo, eyes still trained on the bickering trio, slowly and calmly, made some hand signs while calling forth his chakra—the ground trembled and from the earth sprung up a solid-looking structure made of wood with an opening then he made another hand sign reaching out a hand immediately after, a wooden hand extending from his palm and closing around the unaware pre-teens before literally throwing them inside the prison-like structure, door closing tightly shut as soon as they were in.

"Now." he said loud enough so the genin could hear him, "I hate chaos and ruckus; I like my peace and quiet. So you will stay in there until you three have worked out your issues, whatever they may be. I'm generally against violence, BUT I have no remorse in ruling through terror, got it?"

Silence reigned from the other side of the wooden wall, then, "You can't leave us in here-ttebayo!"

"We'll die, sensei!"

Tenzo sent a piercing glare their way and the three felt its viciousness even past the wall and shivered terrified. "You **will **stay there until I'm sure I'll have my peace and quiet from now on. I don't care how long it'll take. Once you get out, _one _more shouting match or cat fights and you **will **regret it."


	2. The Missing Report

_Hello everyone! :D_

_Since the majority of those who reviewed the first part of this fic asked for a continuation, I decided to go with it... ^^_  
_This will stick to a crack-ish/humor genre, so please don't expect epic battles :P And the chapters will most likely have this same length..._

_That's it for now, enjoy!_

_Ja ne,_  
_Temari 88 :)_

* * *

The birds were chirping happily, rejoicing at the now light blue sky. It was a little past seven thirty in the morning and Sandaime-sama was calmly walking towards his office, already dreading the piles of precarious paperwork that he was sure some evil entity somehow multiplied during the night—it simply _wasn't_ possible that he arrived in there in the morning to be faced with more papers than he was sure he had left the evening prior. He secretly suspected it was Danzo adding to his unfinished work, out of spite... scratch that, he was **positive **the culprit it was his old fellow companion.

Opening the oak door, the Hokage stepped into his office, throwing the stupid hat on the couch on the right side of the room... the thing was irritating, of course the old shinobi knew what it stood for, what it represented, but that didn't mean the hat wasn't kind of uncomfortable to keep on and for the Kami, Sarutobi was sure it had been made _specifically _to look ridiculous on whoever wore it. And it was a common design for all the other four Great Shinobi Nations... which meant every 'Kage of every country looked idiotic when wearing it. He didn't know if he should praise or curse the original creator of the 'Kage hats... but Sarutobi was digressing, and he knew that, he was just desperate to postpone his struggle with paperwork. He sighed and sat down on his leather chair, mentally steeling himself for another tedious day stuffed in the office.

He decided to start off easy, so he pulled in front of him the small stack of papers that made up the reports of each jounin instructor who got assigned a new genin team - the reports obviously contained the first impressions of the teachers on their 'charges'. The first was from Kurenai—she was new at teaching but that didn't mean she didn't know what she did, the genjutsu expert of the village was a very reserved woman and she had her ideas very clear so Sarutobi was sure she would do great as an instructor... her report was neat and precise, objective and with few words of comment on the kids skills. The next paper was Asuma's report: a few scrawled lines on the abilities of his three genin written in hasty ideograms and at the bottom of the page a single sentence that read 'Are you fucking kidding me, oyaji?'—Sarutobi let out a bark of laughter at that, he knew why his son was pissed... he liked to do nothing but having the new generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho was bound to be _troublesome_. The Hokage chuckled again and reached to grab a hold of the last paper—

"Where the heck is it...?" the old man began to lift piles of paperwork to find the last report, the one on Team 7, but is was nowhere in sight. Could it be that Tenzo forgot to hand it over to his secretary? No, Sarutobi shook his head, Tenzo wasn't a forgetful type of person... so something must have happened to prevent him from handing it in, but what?

With a resolute look in his eyes, the old Hokage stood up from his leather chair and headed for one of the large windows of the office, he opened them and swiftly jumped out lifting his robes enough so he didn't slip on the cloth. Landing quietly on the ground floor, he straightened up massaging his knees a bit, and almost laughing at the shocked expressions he got from a small group of academy students standing in front of him; instead he waved and smiled serenely, before walking off in the direction of the ANBU headquarters (though Tenzo had been removed from his position as an active black Ops member for an undefined amount of time, he still lived there).

-x-

After ten minutes of leisurely walking, Sarutobi found himself passing the area making up the training grounds usually reserved for genin teams. Casually he turned his head in that direction—he stopped dead.

He could see it from where he was... a huge... wooden... _cage_...

The Hokage blinked. Blinked twice. Blinked three times. "What the hell...?"

It was obviously the result of the Mokuton Tenzo used, he knew that much, but he couldn't imagine why the jounin would use it. Sarutobi shook his head and changed his course, heading towards the training ground where the cage was situated. Now, the old leader could say he had seen a lot of things in his long life - from wars to peaceful times, from the birth of his son to the death of his predecessor on the field, from the idiocy of Jiraiya to the craziness of Orochimaru - but he would never have expected Tenzo sitting on a stump, attending to a camp fire where he was cooking some sort of breakfast...

"Hokage-sama." said Tenzo, standing up as soon as Sarutobi was near. A little ways behind the young man, the elder could see a sleeping bag and a plastic bag full of goods.

"Tenzo-kun..." he started, nodding and waving a hand to tell the other he could sit, then he sat on another stump, "What are you doing here? And how come your report wasn't in my office?" he asked calmly, he was marely curious after all.

Tenzo frowned a little, looking apologetic. "I'm aware I haven't handed in my report on the genin team I was assigned but... I have encountered some difficulties."

The Hokage nodded in acknowledgement before shifting his attention to the cage. "What is that doing here?" He could hear the intake of breath as Tenzo prepared to answer, but a muffled, familiar, voice beat him to it.

"OJII-SAN! Tell the freak to open this damn thing!" shouted the voice, immediately followed by what the Hokage supposed was a fist pounding on the wood. "He won't let us out-ttebayo!"

"... _Naruto_...?" the old man was positively floored, what was he doing in there? He felt a chill run down his spine as the thought that maybe he had misjudged Tenzo after all... but no. He was sure of this particular shinobi, so he was sure the young man had no ill will towards the blond boy...

"Ah! YES, OJII-SAN!" said Naruto again, this time sounding victorious. "See, Sakura-chan? I told you I could hear old man's voice-ttebayo!"

"Heh yeah, well, don't get cocky just cos you were right for once, baka!" answered a girl's voice, slightly angry but mostly relieved, then she seemed to turn toward the wall in the Hokage's direction, "Please Hokage-sama... tell Yamato-sensei to let us out...! We swear we've learned the lesson!" she paused, "Right, Sasuke-kun...?"

No sound of reply was heard from outside the prison, either the other boy had spoken too lowly or— "Why don't you answer to Sakura-chan, TEME?"

"DON'T CALL SASUKE-KUN 'TEME', NARUTO-BAKA!" the girl yelled and the 'Ow!' coming from Naruto reached Sarutobi's and Tenzo's ears. "... Don't you want to get out, Sasuke-kun?"

"I don't care." finally came an answer from Sasuke, "I won't die here, anyway. You can plead however much you want if you don't have any resistance."

"Hey! I'm NOT weak, teme!" yelled Naruto - Sarutobi could picture him pointing a finger at Sasuke. "I can stay i here more than you ever could...! I'm doing it for Sakura-chan-ttebayo!"

"Are you saying _I'm_ weak, Naruto-baka!" this time the blow she directed at the blond boy was heard perfectly, as Naruto landed crashing on the side of the wooden cage.

The two adults sitting by the fire were silent as the bickering trio continued their ranting fight, Tenzo found his eye-spasm return and the Hokage had a huge sweat drop on the back of his head. The older of the two coughed lightly and rubbed his nape as the cursing of the children became more colorful thanks to Naruto's input.

"... Well, Tenzo-kun I think you don't need to explain..."

But Tenzo didn't agree. "Yesterday they started fighting and I realized that if something like that happened on a mission, it would be detrimental to its accomplishment... I believe forcing them to sort out their rivalry and animosity now might save a great deal of time in the future."

"Yes, yes, you are completely right, Tenzo-kun." smiled the Hokage, slowly getting up from his stump. "You may keep them in there however long you see fit, but please remember to fill out your report as soon as possible explaining all this: the council _will _be a pain in the butt if they find out you put the Last Uchiha in a cage for no good reason, and I mean **good**." with a last wave, Sarutobi walked away, ignoring the call for help coming from Naruto and Sakura.


	3. Kicking Some Kids' Ass

_Hello everyone! :D_

_It doesn't happen a lot that I'm so quick at updating... __*thinks about DBS*__ wow!_

_I think you've probably noticed, but don't be surprised if I have a few 'Sasuke bashing' moments - I don't like him, at all, so it comes natural ^^ but I promise I won't take out my frustrations about Shippuden!Sasuke here :P - the same can be said for Sakura as well..._

_Enjoy!_

_Ja ne,  
Temari 88 C: _

* * *

The night had passed quietly - unlike the previous day when Naruto and Sakura had continued shouting for hours on end until they gave up from exhaustion... Tenzo had been strongly tempted, sometime around midnight, to threaten that if they didn't shut up he would have taken away their share of food (he wasn't so cruel as to leave three children without eating for two days), but then he had simply turned his back on the cage and closed his eyes to sleep, completely ignoring the muffled voices trying to gain his attention.

Presently it was 8 in the morning and Tenzo, after having refreshed briefly, had just finished cooking his breakfast. Turning his ear toward his wooden creation, he was satisfied of hearing a blissful silence coming from inside; he stood up from the stump where he was seated and neared the 'prison', knocking on the wall he tried to catch the kids' attention—given that they were awake.

"I'm opening the door, you're better be awake because I won't open it again until this late afternoon otherwise, is that clear?" he said, loud enough that they'd hear him, then he swiftly made three hand seals and rested his right hand on the wood. An opening appeared immediately, casting the early morning light inside the cage; Tenzo stepped back to make room for the door, when a blur of color flew in front of him at lightning speed.

"AIR!"

"LIGHT!"

"... Freedom...!"

The three genin collapsed on the ground - or better yet, _two _collapsed, because Sasuke being who he was, **elegantly sat** - going as far as to kiss the earth of the training ground and toppling over while inhaling as much air as possible. Tenzo watched the three, secretly amused at their antics, until three pairs of differently colored eyes turned at him trying to crush him under their glares—they didn't seem to realize that three twelve year-olds had no chance of scaring a former ANBU operative (not that he'd told them he was one)... although, Tenzo had to admit, the Uchiha's stare was rather impressive, but still it got nothing on his brother's: Itachi, at age thirteen, had been capable of unnerving even Morino Ibiki, who was the most scary teenager of Hatake Kakashi's generation and was next in line as head of the T&I department.

"You bastard-sensei! I'll make you pay for this-ttebayo!" yelled Naruto, pointing an accusing finger at Tenzo and standing up, obviously ready to pick a fight and completely forgetting he was going to face a jounin. A little ways to the blond's side, Sasuke soon followed the other's example, a dark look in his eyes, and after a moment's hesitation Sakura got up as well, taking on a slightly shaky and uncertain taijutsu stance - she seemed the only one remembering this was their _sensei _they were going to go up against... they surely couldn't defeat him!

Tenzo crossed his arms in front of his chest, letting a smirk take place on his blank face at the display before him. "Oh, so you finally want to fight?" he taunted the three, "Fine, but don't whine when you'll have your butts handled to you." he finished, before lifting his head up as a sign he was waiting for their attack.

-x-

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were on the verge of unconsciousness by the time Tenzo decided he had pushed the kids enough; they had tried to take down their sensei, fueled by their anger at having been trapped inside a prison without chance of escaping for _two frigging days_... and they HAD tried to get out—Sakura's few exploding tags, Sasuke's Gokakyuu no Jutsu, Naruto's Kage Bunshin... even enraging Sakura with the Oiroke to make her punch Naruto with all her (weak) strength and have him smash on the wall... everything had been in vain. They had not seen any light or felt any air outside of the small sliver that came in when teh cruel Yamato-sensei slid a trail with some food into the cage.

"Come on! Get up!" came Tenzo's voice, snapping the three out of their tiredness-induced reverie. The heat of the afternoon sun was glaring down at the genin group, forcing them to squint their eyes to look at the imposing figure of the jounin, his face shadowed as he was standing with his back to the sun—even lifting a hand to shield themselves was too much, let alone thinking of standing up.

"I said **get up**, or I swear I'll throw you all in **there **again." he repeated, pointing at the wooden construction still standing tall a little ways to the team's right.

That seemed to do the trick, because the kids started struggling through their physical exhaustion to slowly get on their feet; their strength was so volatile and fleeting that a slight breeze would have been enough to make them flop back down on their bums like a sack of potatoes - Tenzo had to resist the sick instinct to go to them and push on their foreheads lightly with a finger and have them do just that... for a laugh's sake, and for a little revenge too.

It didn't come as much of a surprise, for the man, when Naruto out of them was the one to look better off (Tenzo knew his stamina was in great part due to Kyuubi) and to have still more energy to spend in other ways than just keep standing. "Bring it on-ttebayo! I'm ready for more...!" he shouted, challenging, a determined frown on his whiskered face, still battered and bruised from before. Behind the blond, Sasuke and Sakura stared at their team mate with wide eyes, quite unable to believe what they were seeing: the two of them could barely _breathe _from how tired and aching their bodies were, who the hell could the _dead last_ have that much energy left?

Tenzo was satisfied at seeing Naruto's spirit was still strong and let a corner of his mouth lift. "Good to see you still have some fight in you, but the sparring practice is over for today." he paused as the genin realized what he'd said, "You're dismissed for the time being... but I'm not done with you three." he saw the children swallow, a look of apprehension on their faces. "Before we start taking missions, I'm going to straighten out some of the things I'm seeing..." he stared at his team pointedly for a few moments, then lifted a hand and made to shoo the three away.

-x-

Tenzo was now standing outside the Hokage's Office, his late report in hand as he had spent the twenty minutes previous to write it as exhaustively and clearly as possible, even pointing out the chances he had decided to make in the immediate future and a rough plan of the next training sessions: he was thinking of having the kids work their asses off... they needed it—especially Naruto, who had the spirit and stamina but had rather poor knowledge on taijutsu stances and the like (although the jounin knew that in the stealth field, at the very least, the blond could pull off a rather good stunt thanks to all the pranking he's done wearing that jumpsuit over the years) and most of all he lacked chakra control, and Sakura... the girl was a top class student, that much was obvious, she had perfect control over her chakra and her taijutsu was flawless but she was _weak_, therefore Tenzo needed to have her build up her stamina and brute force—she liked to punch things (mostly Naruto), so the jounin thought she might be good material for early basic training as a medic ninja: that would help increasing both her strength and her control.

All in all, Tenzo would most likely have a _time _tomorrow - a **hard** time.

Taking a breath to erase those thoughts, he raised a hand and knocked on the door in front of him, getting a 'Come in.' in response, he went in closing it behind his back. "Hokage-sama." he bowed.

"Tenzo-kun." greeted him the old man with a smile, "I see you have my report." continued, extending a hand to take the paper and scan it quickly, internally chuckling as he read the jounin's plans. "I'd say this is a very through report, eh Tenzo-kun?"

The younger man nodded. "Given the nature of this team, I thought it best to put down my intentions for you."

"Oh, I really couldn't care less about what you decide to do with your students: I gave them to you because I knew you were the right teacher for those specific three. I trust you to do whatever you think is necessary to ensure they'll become a good team and a valuable asset for the village." said Sarutobi seriously, before laughing a little, "I let you keep those kids inside a cage—if I didn't trust your judgement, I wouldn't have walked away after seeing that!... No, the ones that will need to see this report are those buggers of the Council - especially Homura and Koharu..." the last part was mumbled in clear displeasure.

"..." Tenzo didn't know how to answer to that.

Sarutobi, remembering he wasn't alone, snapped out of his reverie and waved a hand at the shinobi standing in front of him. "You can go, Tenzo-kun... you'll have a lot on your hands tomorrow." said the Hokage, slightly teasing his subordinate.

Ignoring the jest, Tenzo bowed again and quietly made his way out of the Office.


	4. Breaking Some Shocking News

_Hello everyone! :D_

_Sorry I disappeared for all of this time, but when writer's block hits, it hits hard... and it took me a real long time to get out. ^^ Plus I took up writing in my own language (Italian) again, so I was focused on that and left my English fics aside for a while, but now hopefully I'm back again!  
_

_I thought of working on this first, so enjoy the chapter! C:_

_Oh! And thanks to everyone who put this on their faves or alerts, it let me know some of you still want this story to continue, so ARIGATOU! ^_^_

_Ja ne,  
Temari 88_

* * *

**Chapter 4: Breaking Some Shocking News**

"So... I heard Hokage-sama forced you to take on a genin team, eh Tenzo-kun?" came an awfully annoying voice from behind said man and, turning around, Tenzo found the urge to roll his eyes and glare at the sudden disturbance in his peaceful evening. Hopping into the room from the open window, a young shinobi wearing an ANBU mask in the shape of a dog leaned against the wall, a hand raising to take off the white porcelain artifact from his face and revealing a scarce expanse of pale skin and a gray eye - everything else of his visage was covered either by a linen mask going from over his nose and all the way down his neck, where it connected with a black mesh shirt, or by the Konoha hitai-ate that was pulled down across the left eye.

The smug expression under the blue cloth, which was clear to see for people who knew the ANBU well enough, was irritating Tenzo but he also knew that if he kept on ignoring the other, he would continue to bug him until he gave in. "... Kakashi-sempai..." he finally acknowledged, putting down the book he had been reading, "What brings you here, if I may ask?" the aggravation and resignation betrayed the politeness of the question and, as he laughed good-heartedly, Hatake Kakashi took it as an invitation to make himself at home and sit down on the chair across from his fellow shinobi.

"Why, I was wondering what you were up to, Tenzo-kun...! Who do you take me for?" he answered in mock hurt, waving a hand dismissively. "I didn't see you around HQ these couple of days, so I thought you went on a mission, but what do I hear from Hokage-sama in person after I reported this afternoon...? That you went and got yourself a _genin team_!" the older ninja laughed.

Tenzo didn't say anything for a few seconds, then, "It was Hokage-sama's decision to put a genin team under my care, not a request coming from me." the former ANBU member sighed quietly: the tiredness of the past two days coming back for the second time since he dismissed the three kids... they were _so _annoying, they spent a day and a half just shouting at each other instead of trying to figure out why he had trapped them into the cage... _unbelievable_. "... I wish I refused..."

Kakashi rised an eyebrow at the dejected tone of his friend's voice. "It's not like you to whine, Tenzo-kun." he said with a chuckle, which died out as the other glared at him from across the table. "C'mon... I'm sure you can handle a couple of preteens without a problem! Just tell them you'll close them into that wooden prison of yours if they don't behave." he proposed grinning widely under the mask. "That would certainly sober them up, uh?" Tenzo didn't respond, he only regarded the other with a slight crease between his eyebrows.

"Oh... so Hokage-sama didn't tell you, did he." considered the younger of the two, then he let a corner of his mouth curve up and said, "I ALREADY closed them inside my wooden prison. I kept them in there for more than twenty-four hours and all the while they kept yelling - either at me to let them out, or at each other... although, it is true that when I threatened them later on, they seemed quite frightened at the prospect of being shut in the cage again..." Tenzo rubbed his chin, thinking back at the faces of the three kids. Kakashi, on the other side of the table, had his eye wide in surprise: **everybody** was scared or at the very least disturbed at the thought of being imprisoned in Tenzo's cage, who _the hell_ were those kids to biker while in there...?

"Who did you say your genin were...?" asked the older ANBU, now really curious and no longer in taunt-mode.

"I didn't and, from the looks of it, neither did Hokage-sama... he had fun with you too, uh?" answered Tenzo with a slightly mean smile. "My genin team is composed of: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura." a moment's pause, then the former ANBU chuckled rather darkly at Kakashi, "... Ah... now I understand why Hokage-sama told you about my team keeping you unaware of its members... _very cunning_..."

Kakashi seemed lost (and a little bit freaked out at that ominous laugh). "What? Why you're saying that...? What do you mean? TELL ME!" he could feel a twist of anticipation knot his stomach, and not in a pleasurable way; he was expecting the gong of DOOM to play just for him.

"... Mpf." was the sound that left Tenzo as he restrained his laughter at seeing the panicked state of his sempai. "You see, Kakashi-sempai, Sarutobi-sama isn't called 'The Professor' for show, you know that don't you?" the last Hatake in the village nodded faintly, not liking the disturbing sweet tone of the other man not. one. bit. "... I expect Hokage-sama predicted you'd have to get involved in my team's training as well, sooner or later... after all, Sasuke-kun **is** an Uchiha: he'll need _someone_ to instruct him into using the Sharingan correctly, once he activates it..." Tenzo left the sentence hang in the air, letting the reality of the facts dawn on Kakashi.

"... No." was the terrified whisper coming out of the ANBU member 'Inu', he was sickly white in the face and was shaking almost imperceptibly. "Nononono!"

"Oh, yes, my dear sempai." said a disgustingly smug Tenzo, "It seems you'll have to become a **_teacher_**~~"

Kakashi slipped out of his chair and crashed on the floor, hands covering his ears and shaking his head violently. "You're lying...! You CAN'T be serious! Please tell me you're lying!"

"You really think i could joke over something like this?" asked the jounin raising an eyebrow. "Well... sorry to crush your hopes, but I'm telling the truth."

"_**NOOOOOO!**_" wailed Kakashi, his yell waking up half of the shinobi in the ANBU headquarters.

-x-

Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage, was sitting at his desk at the Tower, stamping the last two dozen papers left of the day. He was grumbling under his breath, throwing curses left and right at every person who wrote a report for every single thing... who did they take him for? He was supposed to take care only of those problems that actually concerned the village's safety - things like an enemy attack, an infection or some kind of serious disease spreading through the entire population, a massive flood wiping away half of Konoha, a landslide, drought, the dead coming back to life— okay that last one was a bit exaggerated...

Still, a Hokage shouldn't be overwhelmed with stupid requests such as (and here he was quoting from the papers he had skimmed through all day, just today): how to make 'So-and-So'-san stop taking so many soldier pills when on missions that lasted less than three days, or convince shop keepers that costumers are not property and that they can shop wherever is more convenient, or read through letters of men asking when Jiraya-sama planned on releasing a new volume of the _Icha Icha_ series - although Sarutobi was also rather interested in that contingent - and so on and so forth. It was beyond ridiculous! He didn't want to waste his time stuck in the Office for **those** requests...!

Plus, he was more and more convinced Danzo secretly paid people to write the majority of them. He would bet his signed erotica volumes of that! It was just the sort of underhanded action that good-for-nothing warmongerer would do... he was quick with his tongue when he had to interfere during meetings, but he didn't have the courage to come face to face with Sarutobi. "I'm certain he would escape as fast as he could if he was followed even by a sixteen year-old wanting to chop his head off..." the Hokage muttered to himself as he stamped on the last paper annoyed.

The office was finally silent and from the village below and all around the Tower only few and distant sounds could be heard. That is, until a wail ripped through the stillness of the night, an echo of an anguished voice that Sarutobi identified as coming from the ANBU HQ.

"_**NOOOOOO!**_"

The Hokage chuckled, finding his good mood coming back at once. "... Seems like Tenzo-kun informed Kakashi-kun..." the chuckles escalated into a burst of laughter as the old man walked to the door and went to his private quarters.


End file.
